La douleur exquise

You walk away slowly,
Disappear into the misty snow,
The darkness swallows you,
I can hardly see you now.

I see a hundred thousand things,

Instead of the ones I'm supposed to see,
I don't know why but all of them,
Have some of you and some of me.

You swear it isn't the end,

You swear it won't change,

But I don't know why you only exist,

In my diary, on every page.

I see you everywhere I go,

I see you in the stars,

I see you in the water of the pool,
I see you in my scars.

There is no end to this I see,
No end, none at all,
Every time I stand I wait for it,
That inevitable fall.

Every time it all breaks apart,
I'll sit and put it back,
Because I'll never stop hoping that one day,
You'll know you complete all I lack.

I hope that we will sit,
And talk and laugh and play,
And life will suddenly be a blur,
Of many a night and day.

For a day shall come,

When it will all be altered,

These will all be milestones,

The steps we fumbled or faltered.

A day to make you see what you are,

And together what we could be,

A day to rewrite all the days,

Spent in agonising misery.

It will change the way we look at now,

It will erase all the sorrow,

It will end all these days of waiting,

I hope the day is tomorrow.

When that day comes let me know,
With open arms I'll welcome you,
Till then I'll count the days,
So many, hopefully few.